You should get what you deserve.

I just got back from a nice long weekend in Northern California for my cousins wedding. She married one of Oakland's finest and are now off on their mini-moon.

I love weddings. It's the girliest thing about me. I love shows about weddings, wedding magazines and going to weddings. I've been to a lot in the past few years.

Maybe I love them so much because as a girl, it's one of the things I have not yet experienced so I can dream big when it comes to it. Maybe I wont be so into them after I have my own. I don't know, I'm not there yet.

Even though I like to flip through the pages of Martha Stewart Weddings, being in and going to a number of weddings has made much more realistic about what I would truly want on that day. Dreams can be hard to alter though.

This comes in to play with relationships as well. As I've said before I work in the jewelry industry. Many times, I have helped girls who are more interested in the quality of their diamond than the quality of their partner.

Lately I 've been talking to some friends who are in relationships that look good on paper, but don't really work in reality. And as time goes on, it becomes harder for them to walk away from that relationship.

For some it has to do with the time they have put in. For others, it has to do with feeling like they might miss out on this someone becoming great.

I know it is hard to walk away from those situations. Breaking up and moving on from a relationship is hard and it hurts. It's hard and hurts no matter what. But if the person you are with is not treating you in an honoring way, it 's time to go. If your partner has asked you to set yourself esteem aside so they can feel better, it's time to go. If you are waiting for he or she to become the person you want and they are not that person now, it's time to go.

Understand, I don't write from a place of successful relationships. If I was, I would be telling you all about my wedding. However, I write from a place of finding myself in the midst of those type of relationships and spending way too much time with someone that was not a good fit for me.

Are you settling? Are you worried you will be alone? Then maybe it is time for you to be alone for a while and do the work it takes to find out what you deserve and how you should be treated.

In the Bible, it says a man is supposed to love his wife like Christ loved the church. Which in turn means, he treasured them and died for them. Whether you believe in Jesus or not, it's a good precedent.

We all deserve to be treasured. We all deserve to love and be loved exactly where we are at. But real love does not bring fear or harm. It does not rob you of your self esteem or dignity. If the "love" your are experiencing is bringing those things, it's not love and it is really time to leave. It will be hard but it will be worth it.

One of my favorite parts of my cousins wedding was watching her and her new husband "pogo" together to one of their favorite songs. Watching how they played together said a lot about how they are going t live together. I know how much he cherishes her and how much she adores him.

I hope we all find that someone to pogo with.

Seperation Between Church and Work?

I was listening to a This American Life podcast yesterday. It was their "Poultry Slam 2008" episode. A show dedicated to birds and the supernatural.

One of the stories was about a labor dispute that has been going on in a poultry processing plant in North Carolina. The workers in this plant have been trying to unionize due to horrible unsafe working conditions and their rights being violated. A few years back, the man who leads the workers in this effort, went and talked to the plant managers Episcopal priest in an attempt to see if he could appeal to the managers core value system. The idea that if a man claimed to be a Christian and to follow Christ, shouldn't that man be treating his workers better. Shouldn't that manager be standing with the poor and weak and helping them instead of hindering them.

The priest did come down to the plant on the day of the union vote to talk to the manager, ultimately it seems, the manager felt the priest was involving himself in something that was none of his business.

The reporter of this particular story also cited other examples of workers talking to clergy of all walks about  helping their causes in situations where the workers rights were being violated.

What is the job of clergy in modern day? Is bringing a priest, pastor, or rabbi in to deal with such matters going to far? How far should the influence of a person's community reach?

In the past and even in some places today a man and his boss would have attended the same church.Would that circumstance make it more acceptable for clergy to be involved? Should clergy be involved at all?

I am interested to hear your thoughts on this.

May your work week be peaceful and safe.