I Knew You When

I dream when I sleep. Lately I have been dreaming a lot about people from my past. Naturally, when I wake up from those dreams, I am thinking about the person I was dreaming about. I wonder how they are and where life has taken them. Sometimes I even say a prayer for them.

And of course, it's hard to think about a person from my past without thinking about the role I played in their life. Sometimes it was a good one and sometimes a bad one.

The good roles don't trip me up as much as the bad ones do. People I wasn't as kind to as I could have been, failed relationships, etc. Those are the people I wish I could see again and be a better person to them. But I know I may never have that closure. So knowing that, that is where grace comes into play.

If we are truly doing the work in our life that we are supposed to do, then we are always growing and changing. Which means, that the person we used to be no longer exists in the form people once knew. And hopefully the people we once knew are not the same either.

There is an Avett Brothers song called, "The Perfect Space," and it has the lyrics:
I wanna have friends, that I can trust.That love me for the man I've become not the man that I was

Those lyrics speak to me because it's something I want, and I want for others as well. But it's definitely something that is easier said than done. It means that we have to let go of not only our ideas of someone, but in many cases our past experiences with them as well. We have to forgive and try and understand where someone was and where they are now. Again, that is where grace comes into it.

I know I'm not the same person I was 5 and 10 years ago. I also know I am not the same person I was a few months ago. It's my hope that we could all make that statement and it is not only true but it is a positive thing.

About seven years ago, I interviewed the two Coreys about "The Lost Boys" sequel. The interview went well, both were really nice guys. One of the things I observed though was he dynamic between the two of them. Corey Feldman had clearly grown and changed over the years. He had gotten married and moved into a different space in his life working to become the man he wanted to be. Corey Haim (God rest his soul.) was clearly struggling with himself and was trying to engage Feldman as if they were still teenage boys. Although they did not express it on that day, the friction was clearly there. Haim was holding onto the idea of the Feldman he once knew and Feldman was being the man he'd become. 

Are we doing that to people in our own life? Are we moving forward but continually trying to make someone play a role they not longer fit?

If we find that to be the case we are causing them harm. We need to try and have fresh eyes and see who they are today and in turn hopefully they will see us as the person we have become. If you are on the other end of that, then it's time to move away from that person until they can see you for who you are now.

I pray the people from my past are all doing well. I hope that they are prosperous and are becoming the men and women they want to be. And for all of you, I hope to see you all with fresh eyes I look forward to the growth and change that is in store.