For the best 12 years I have with either a service club or with my friends adopted a family through the Orange County Child Abuse Prevention Center.
The center is an amazing place and really works to break the cycle of abuse. The believe in preventative education and not just putting a band-aid over a bullet wound.
The families receive donated items all year, but this is the one time of year they get gifted with all new things. If this speaks to you, please leave a comment to help.
Here is the family we have adopted for this Christmas:
Tammy is a single mother living with her son, Dang( 1.5). The maternal grandmother comes over to take care of Dang everyday while Tammy works during the day. Tammy's work hours recently were cut back due to the economy. Tammy had a miscarriage prior to Dang due to domestic violence with the father. Tammy was also pressured to get an abortion by father when pregnant with Dang, but she choose to not do it.Tammy currently doesn't get any financial or emotional support from the father. Tammy is struggling financially because she owes debt that the father owed before and can barely pay her bills. At the end of the month after paying for all the bills and the father's debt she only has $50 of cash left. Tammy is currently trying to get child support through family court. Despite Tammy's situation, Dang is a happy child and is learning how to speak. The family would greatly appreciate the help this holiday season.
Tammy Allucia
Who they are: Mother
Age: 38
Greatest Need: Sweater (M), turtle necks (M), Jeans (3), slacks( 3), blouse (M), bath towels, Tide detergent, shoes . Grocery coupon or gift card for organic whole milk and fruits.
Greatest Wish: Makeup , Macy’s Gift card, Target Gift Card, Guess watch
Grandmother Allucia
Who they are: Grandmother
Age: 65
Greatest Need: mini cupcake pan, bake ware, Non stick pot and pan set, Oscal (vitamin for bone) sweater. (L), scarf’s, winter hats, sweater (L), walking shoes (7). Grocery coupon or gift card for organic whole milk and fruits. non stick pot and pan set, Oscal (vitamin for bone) sweater. (L), scarves, winter hats,
Greatest Wish: DVD player, MP3 player or portable radio, Ross gift card. Wal-Mart or target gift card. Ross gift card. Wal-Mart or target gift card.
Dang Allucia
Who they are: Son
Age: 1.5
Greatest Need: Diapers (size 5 or 6). Wipes, Shoes and socks (size 6 or 61/2), Toddler hat, Storage cabinet with door for clothing. Johnson and Johnson Lavender shampoo. Books. Clothes- (2T-3T) for shirts, pants, jackets, sweaters, turtle neck. Grocery coupon or gift card for organic whole milk and fruits.
Greatest Wish: ABC floor mat, Leap Frog toys, toddler bike & helmet Toddler Christmas outfit (2-3T). Interactive toys. Imaginary 5-way giant bead maze cube (for manipulative skills), Wall paper or sticker (with animal), Little Tikes adjust and draw table. Imaginary 5-way giant bead maze cube (for manipulative skills), Wall paper or sticker (with animals), Little Tikes adjust and draw table.
If you can donate or want to just help wrap, anything is appreciated. We also can use wrapping paper, gifts bags, tissue, tape and boxes.
Best,
Darcy
Monday, November 15, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The Reason Why Not
I have been thinking about reasoning a lot lately. Reasoning and the reasons why, we as people don't do certain things.
Hell, it's been a while since I've posted here, and I can give you a bunch of reasons, but the reality is I just didn't post, regardless of the "reason" it didn't get done. I can either chose to write on a daily basis or not. More than not I can find a reason not to. It's one of those things I can dismiss, even though I love to write and I'm passionate about it, it doesn't mean I always want to do it.
Now on the other hand, there are plenty of good reasons not to do something. When we are young, we are told not to touch the hot stove because it will burn us. But for some people, too many things become the hot stove and they don't touch anything for fear of getting burned.
We all know people who have the best intentions but no follow through. Usually they have a list of reasons why they cannot. And for every reason you list for why they can, they find more reasons why not.
I was talking to someone recently who has very clear visions of the things they want in life. But when I asked why this person was not actively pursuing those things, I was met with a slew of reasons why not. And granted, all the reasons sound and feel very valid. But the long and the short of it is that this person is not living in the present and is not truly participating in their life.
The key to it is not to have intention, but to move with real action. Move in a way that is taking you towards the things you want, not taking you in a circle.
You need to ask yourself, is this activity that I am concerning myself with really getting me closer to what I truly want or is it just keeping me busy until I can find enough courage to do what I really want?
And yes courage is part of it. Courage is required to face that which you are not sure of. If you wanna play it safe all the time more than likely you're not going to get want you really want.
This past summer I decided to go back to school to finish my degree. I have been talking about it for a long time, but was not being truly active in it. I had a lot of reasons why not for a long time, but then I ran out of reasons. Thank God. But I'm lucky in that sense, because some people never run out of reasons why not. Now I'm in school and I feel more free because I'm participating in my life. I'm doing something I wanted for so long and love it.
So what are your reasons why not? Is fear at the heart of them all? Do you surround yourself with others who keep feeding your reasons why not?
Yes you may fail, but then you can come at it in a different way. Then again, it may all be a wild success. However, every reason why not will continue to keep you from ever finding out.
So participate in your life. Get the reasons why not out of the way. I know it's hard to do it all at once, but the sooner you move the little reasons why not out of the way the sooner you can get to the big ones.
Hell, it's been a while since I've posted here, and I can give you a bunch of reasons, but the reality is I just didn't post, regardless of the "reason" it didn't get done. I can either chose to write on a daily basis or not. More than not I can find a reason not to. It's one of those things I can dismiss, even though I love to write and I'm passionate about it, it doesn't mean I always want to do it.
Now on the other hand, there are plenty of good reasons not to do something. When we are young, we are told not to touch the hot stove because it will burn us. But for some people, too many things become the hot stove and they don't touch anything for fear of getting burned.
We all know people who have the best intentions but no follow through. Usually they have a list of reasons why they cannot. And for every reason you list for why they can, they find more reasons why not.
I was talking to someone recently who has very clear visions of the things they want in life. But when I asked why this person was not actively pursuing those things, I was met with a slew of reasons why not. And granted, all the reasons sound and feel very valid. But the long and the short of it is that this person is not living in the present and is not truly participating in their life.
The key to it is not to have intention, but to move with real action. Move in a way that is taking you towards the things you want, not taking you in a circle.
You need to ask yourself, is this activity that I am concerning myself with really getting me closer to what I truly want or is it just keeping me busy until I can find enough courage to do what I really want?
And yes courage is part of it. Courage is required to face that which you are not sure of. If you wanna play it safe all the time more than likely you're not going to get want you really want.
This past summer I decided to go back to school to finish my degree. I have been talking about it for a long time, but was not being truly active in it. I had a lot of reasons why not for a long time, but then I ran out of reasons. Thank God. But I'm lucky in that sense, because some people never run out of reasons why not. Now I'm in school and I feel more free because I'm participating in my life. I'm doing something I wanted for so long and love it.
So what are your reasons why not? Is fear at the heart of them all? Do you surround yourself with others who keep feeding your reasons why not?
Yes you may fail, but then you can come at it in a different way. Then again, it may all be a wild success. However, every reason why not will continue to keep you from ever finding out.
So participate in your life. Get the reasons why not out of the way. I know it's hard to do it all at once, but the sooner you move the little reasons why not out of the way the sooner you can get to the big ones.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
What Would You Give?
Friday night I went to The Rock in Fullerton to see a screening of, "Comedy, The Road Less Traveled." It's a documentary about comedian Michael Jr. and how he took comedy into places that really needed it. In the documentary he visits a youth correctional facility in Norwalk an HIV care facility in Ft. Worth, Texas called the Samaritan House, a home for drug endangered children in Colorado called the Dolphin House, and the Union Rescue Mission in downtown LA.
At the top of the documentary he poses the following questions:
1. Could you give if you had no resources or money?
2. If so, what would you give?
Michael Jr.'s gift is comedy, so he took comedy to people who really needed a laugh. But after the showing he got up and spoke and talked about the face that one of the facilities had really bad plumbing when he got there and really bad plumbing when he left because he was not a plumber. But he knew that someone out there was and could help.
He raises good points. People think many times that they cannot give because they don't have extra cash or extra stuff. But sometimes the things you do every day, your vocation or your hobby can be something that can help people in ways you never imagined.
Say for example you love to do crafts. Find a place you can volunteer and take the crafts to the women in a shelter. Granted, it may not give them a home, but it will give them respite from their situation for a while and help them return to feeling just like everyone else for a while.
If you're a musician, offer up your music where people can really use hearing some music. If you're a mechanic, see if you can help fix the cars of local charities or maybe even teach the people how to fix them.
None of us are short of gifts. We all have them. Now we just have to use them in the best ways we know how.
People are still people, the thing that separates us most times is our circumstances. Let's work to make that separation a little less.
At the top of the documentary he poses the following questions:
1. Could you give if you had no resources or money?
2. If so, what would you give?
Michael Jr.'s gift is comedy, so he took comedy to people who really needed a laugh. But after the showing he got up and spoke and talked about the face that one of the facilities had really bad plumbing when he got there and really bad plumbing when he left because he was not a plumber. But he knew that someone out there was and could help.
He raises good points. People think many times that they cannot give because they don't have extra cash or extra stuff. But sometimes the things you do every day, your vocation or your hobby can be something that can help people in ways you never imagined.
Say for example you love to do crafts. Find a place you can volunteer and take the crafts to the women in a shelter. Granted, it may not give them a home, but it will give them respite from their situation for a while and help them return to feeling just like everyone else for a while.
If you're a musician, offer up your music where people can really use hearing some music. If you're a mechanic, see if you can help fix the cars of local charities or maybe even teach the people how to fix them.
None of us are short of gifts. We all have them. Now we just have to use them in the best ways we know how.
People are still people, the thing that separates us most times is our circumstances. Let's work to make that separation a little less.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
I though it would be a quick renovation...
Sorry I 've been off the radar for so long. Things have been very busy and to be honest I've just been tired.
I have spent almost every Monday since the beginning of July tied to my house because our landlords are having renovations done and improvements made. And as with any home improvement project, once you fix one thing, something else undoubtedly needs to be fixed as well. This is how is has been going with our house. To date we have gotten a new roof, a new stove/oven, a new garage door, a new lock, a new kitchen fan, a new faucet in my bathroom, the water damage in the kitchen window fixed, a shade put on the patio, a new drain in the shower, a new seal on the fridge door, a new magnet for the fridge door to help it close, the fridge door raised, a motion sensor light, a wall painted, an old non functioning second water heater taken out, the walls re stuccoed, a new wind cap on the roof, a new sweep on the shower, and a new breaker in our power box.
Our contractors are great guys but to be honest, I'm tired of seeing them on Mondays or any of the other days we've had to call them out.
I feel like the same thing applies when we begin to renovate ourselves. We may think we are just going to work on one part of us, but little do we know that that one part is tied to so many others.
For example, you wanna lose weight so you start to change the way you eat. But then you figure out that eating isn't just eating, it's become an emotional response. So then we have to figure out what triggers that emotional response and so on and so on.
Many people quit when they are faced with this type of realization. They are worried that working on themselves will change to much and that they will lose more than they will gain. That is such a lie and you shouldn't believe it.
If my contractors stopped halfway through, I'd have a half finished house that I could not live in. The same goes with our emotional state. You are the only constant in your own life. So if things are breaking down in your life, it's time to look at what needs to be renovated. It's time to look for a good contractor to help you with that renovation. And yes, it's going to take some time, but the overall costs will be outweighed by the benefits.
If you started work and have stopped halfway through, get back to it. Live with a you that you want to live with. There is no shame in picking back up where you left off. Even if you have backtracked a little, it will be worth it.
The contractors have to come back a few more times. But all in all it's going to make our house a better place to live. Our bills will go down and things will last longer. It's not a time I have really enjoyed because it's required so much, but the end will be worth it.
I have spent almost every Monday since the beginning of July tied to my house because our landlords are having renovations done and improvements made. And as with any home improvement project, once you fix one thing, something else undoubtedly needs to be fixed as well. This is how is has been going with our house. To date we have gotten a new roof, a new stove/oven, a new garage door, a new lock, a new kitchen fan, a new faucet in my bathroom, the water damage in the kitchen window fixed, a shade put on the patio, a new drain in the shower, a new seal on the fridge door, a new magnet for the fridge door to help it close, the fridge door raised, a motion sensor light, a wall painted, an old non functioning second water heater taken out, the walls re stuccoed, a new wind cap on the roof, a new sweep on the shower, and a new breaker in our power box.
Our contractors are great guys but to be honest, I'm tired of seeing them on Mondays or any of the other days we've had to call them out.
I feel like the same thing applies when we begin to renovate ourselves. We may think we are just going to work on one part of us, but little do we know that that one part is tied to so many others.
For example, you wanna lose weight so you start to change the way you eat. But then you figure out that eating isn't just eating, it's become an emotional response. So then we have to figure out what triggers that emotional response and so on and so on.
Many people quit when they are faced with this type of realization. They are worried that working on themselves will change to much and that they will lose more than they will gain. That is such a lie and you shouldn't believe it.
If my contractors stopped halfway through, I'd have a half finished house that I could not live in. The same goes with our emotional state. You are the only constant in your own life. So if things are breaking down in your life, it's time to look at what needs to be renovated. It's time to look for a good contractor to help you with that renovation. And yes, it's going to take some time, but the overall costs will be outweighed by the benefits.
If you started work and have stopped halfway through, get back to it. Live with a you that you want to live with. There is no shame in picking back up where you left off. Even if you have backtracked a little, it will be worth it.
The contractors have to come back a few more times. But all in all it's going to make our house a better place to live. Our bills will go down and things will last longer. It's not a time I have really enjoyed because it's required so much, but the end will be worth it.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Who Stole That?
In case you have been living in a cave over the past few years, you know we live in a time of intense social media. So if I post it, you know about it.
I have to say I'm a sucker for some of the hilarious conversations that get started based on things people post on Facebook. In fact just yesterday a whole tangent got started on the mere fact the I posted that I wanted to go swimming. It makes me appreciate my friends and their humor.
I've also noticed that there seems to have to be a person that wants to a party pooper on a post. For example, someone will post that they are going to a concert they are really excited about, Most people will respond with positive, upbeat comments like, "Have fun!" or "I wish I was going!" But then there's that one person who feels the need to bag on the band and talk about how much they suck. I know they think they're just being playful, but it takes some of the joy out of it.
I know people like this in life. They are the ones who always have to point out the negative or tear someone down in order to join in the conversation. I call these people, "joy stealers."
Now, I 'm not sitting here claiming I have never been a joy stealer. I assure you I have been. I've taken a bad attitude with someone or make a quippy comment that just takes all the steam out of something. But my choice is to work not to be a joy stealer.
We all have different loves and passions. We are not all gonna love the same things. God, how boring would that be not to mention getting concert tickets would be a real pain in the butt.
Sarcasm and biting humor are pretty easy defaults. Trust me, I could have a whole other blog about the things I would love to bag on or tear down when I get riled up. But I don't want to put that out there. I don't want to move into a higher place because I'm standing on someone else.
I hope we can all think a little before we speak or type and make sure we are not stealing joy from one another. People have enough in their lives to tell them they are not enough and don't measure up. I know for myself I don't want to add to that.
May today be full of joy and may there be something you are really excited about that no one can touch.
I have to say I'm a sucker for some of the hilarious conversations that get started based on things people post on Facebook. In fact just yesterday a whole tangent got started on the mere fact the I posted that I wanted to go swimming. It makes me appreciate my friends and their humor.
I've also noticed that there seems to have to be a person that wants to a party pooper on a post. For example, someone will post that they are going to a concert they are really excited about, Most people will respond with positive, upbeat comments like, "Have fun!" or "I wish I was going!" But then there's that one person who feels the need to bag on the band and talk about how much they suck. I know they think they're just being playful, but it takes some of the joy out of it.
I know people like this in life. They are the ones who always have to point out the negative or tear someone down in order to join in the conversation. I call these people, "joy stealers."
Now, I 'm not sitting here claiming I have never been a joy stealer. I assure you I have been. I've taken a bad attitude with someone or make a quippy comment that just takes all the steam out of something. But my choice is to work not to be a joy stealer.
We all have different loves and passions. We are not all gonna love the same things. God, how boring would that be not to mention getting concert tickets would be a real pain in the butt.
Sarcasm and biting humor are pretty easy defaults. Trust me, I could have a whole other blog about the things I would love to bag on or tear down when I get riled up. But I don't want to put that out there. I don't want to move into a higher place because I'm standing on someone else.
I hope we can all think a little before we speak or type and make sure we are not stealing joy from one another. People have enough in their lives to tell them they are not enough and don't measure up. I know for myself I don't want to add to that.
May today be full of joy and may there be something you are really excited about that no one can touch.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What the Hell Are You Eating?
A few years back I started on a weight loss journey. I had injured my knee at work and the 2 1/2 year battle with workers comp had kept me from doing much. So in turn I gained weight and ended up the heaviest I had ever been in my life. When I saw my vacation photos from that year, I about fell over because I didn't realize how I looked, it was a big wake up call.
I had never been a diet girl, so when I got on a weight loss program I learned very quickly that I had to change the way I ate and my lifestyle. By getting more disciplined with what I put in my mouth, I not only lost the weight but I was amazed at how good I felt. Overall, I had more energy, me knees felt better and my body functioned better.
After a while, I went it on my own away from the program and ended up gaining some of the weight back, I felt junky and my knees started hurting again. All of that came from the fact I just wasn't watching what I feed myself.
I think the same things happens depending on what we feed our spirit. If you feel bitter, hopeless or angry, what have you been feeding yourself? Are you feeding yourself "junk food" that causes you to grow negative and nasty feelings?
I know some of those feelings came come from other sources that are outside our control (bipolar disorders, depression, etc.) but even then we have to be aware of what we take into ourselves. Those disorders also have catalysts.
We live in a time where we can see and hear just about anything we want to. And though we may be desensitized to such things, that's not a good thing. That is the same type of effect really junky, sugary food has on our bodies. Our receptors are dull and we need more and more stimulus in order to feel right. So we keep chasing the high and we end up feeling worse afterward. Things we have seen and heard we cannot undo,and we injure ourselves the more we feed off of it.
Often times, we surround ourselves with people who reinforce our behavior. That's why for a lot of people who are battling their weight, it can be hard to make a healthy change because the people they are around are not reinforcing that chance and encouraging it.
The same goes for our attitudes and the spiritual things we feed ourselves. If you are battling an addiction and want to make a break from it, more than likely you are going to have to meet with people who are also trying to break away from it. You don't want to continually surround yourself with people who will drag you back to that addiction.
It doesn't even need to be as severe as addiction. It can even be as simple as an attitudinal change. If the people around you are nasty and bitter people who don't want to grow, you more than likely are one of them or will become one of them. The things they continue to feed into themselves are not moving them to a place of hope or affirmation.
In order for me to lose the weight again, I had to get back to the good things I had been doing.
Examine the things you are "feeding" yourself. Are you filling up on spiritual junk food or being choosy?
And if you are filling up on junky things, maybe it's time for a weight loss program of the spirit. I know that will look different for everyone, but move towards health. Maybe it;s time to go back to therapy after not going for a while, maybe it's time to get back to church. Find what ways work for you or have in the past. And know, that it may feel wierd, it may feel like you cannot return to that place of health, but it's not too late.
I had never been a diet girl, so when I got on a weight loss program I learned very quickly that I had to change the way I ate and my lifestyle. By getting more disciplined with what I put in my mouth, I not only lost the weight but I was amazed at how good I felt. Overall, I had more energy, me knees felt better and my body functioned better.
After a while, I went it on my own away from the program and ended up gaining some of the weight back, I felt junky and my knees started hurting again. All of that came from the fact I just wasn't watching what I feed myself.
I think the same things happens depending on what we feed our spirit. If you feel bitter, hopeless or angry, what have you been feeding yourself? Are you feeding yourself "junk food" that causes you to grow negative and nasty feelings?
I know some of those feelings came come from other sources that are outside our control (bipolar disorders, depression, etc.) but even then we have to be aware of what we take into ourselves. Those disorders also have catalysts.
We live in a time where we can see and hear just about anything we want to. And though we may be desensitized to such things, that's not a good thing. That is the same type of effect really junky, sugary food has on our bodies. Our receptors are dull and we need more and more stimulus in order to feel right. So we keep chasing the high and we end up feeling worse afterward. Things we have seen and heard we cannot undo,and we injure ourselves the more we feed off of it.
Often times, we surround ourselves with people who reinforce our behavior. That's why for a lot of people who are battling their weight, it can be hard to make a healthy change because the people they are around are not reinforcing that chance and encouraging it.
The same goes for our attitudes and the spiritual things we feed ourselves. If you are battling an addiction and want to make a break from it, more than likely you are going to have to meet with people who are also trying to break away from it. You don't want to continually surround yourself with people who will drag you back to that addiction.
It doesn't even need to be as severe as addiction. It can even be as simple as an attitudinal change. If the people around you are nasty and bitter people who don't want to grow, you more than likely are one of them or will become one of them. The things they continue to feed into themselves are not moving them to a place of hope or affirmation.
In order for me to lose the weight again, I had to get back to the good things I had been doing.
Examine the things you are "feeding" yourself. Are you filling up on spiritual junk food or being choosy?
And if you are filling up on junky things, maybe it's time for a weight loss program of the spirit. I know that will look different for everyone, but move towards health. Maybe it;s time to go back to therapy after not going for a while, maybe it's time to get back to church. Find what ways work for you or have in the past. And know, that it may feel wierd, it may feel like you cannot return to that place of health, but it's not too late.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
I Knew You When
I dream when I sleep. Lately I have been dreaming a lot about people from my past. Naturally, when I wake up from those dreams, I am thinking about the person I was dreaming about. I wonder how they are and where life has taken them. Sometimes I even say a prayer for them.
And of course, it's hard to think about a person from my past without thinking about the role I played in their life. Sometimes it was a good one and sometimes a bad one.
The good roles don't trip me up as much as the bad ones do. People I wasn't as kind to as I could have been, failed relationships, etc. Those are the people I wish I could see again and be a better person to them. But I know I may never have that closure. So knowing that, that is where grace comes into play.
If we are truly doing the work in our life that we are supposed to do, then we are always growing and changing. Which means, that the person we used to be no longer exists in the form people once knew. And hopefully the people we once knew are not the same either.
There is an Avett Brothers song called, "The Perfect Space," and it has the lyrics:
I wanna have friends, that I can trust.That love me for the man I've become not the man that I was
Those lyrics speak to me because it's something I want, and I want for others as well. But it's definitely something that is easier said than done. It means that we have to let go of not only our ideas of someone, but in many cases our past experiences with them as well. We have to forgive and try and understand where someone was and where they are now. Again, that is where grace comes into it.
I know I'm not the same person I was 5 and 10 years ago. I also know I am not the same person I was a few months ago. It's my hope that we could all make that statement and it is not only true but it is a positive thing.
About seven years ago, I interviewed the two Coreys about "The Lost Boys" sequel. The interview went well, both were really nice guys. One of the things I observed though was he dynamic between the two of them. Corey Feldman had clearly grown and changed over the years. He had gotten married and moved into a different space in his life working to become the man he wanted to be. Corey Haim (God rest his soul.) was clearly struggling with himself and was trying to engage Feldman as if they were still teenage boys. Although they did not express it on that day, the friction was clearly there. Haim was holding onto the idea of the Feldman he once knew and Feldman was being the man he'd become.
Are we doing that to people in our own life? Are we moving forward but continually trying to make someone play a role they not longer fit?
If we find that to be the case we are causing them harm. We need to try and have fresh eyes and see who they are today and in turn hopefully they will see us as the person we have become. If you are on the other end of that, then it's time to move away from that person until they can see you for who you are now.
I pray the people from my past are all doing well. I hope that they are prosperous and are becoming the men and women they want to be. And for all of you, I hope to see you all with fresh eyes I look forward to the growth and change that is in store.
And of course, it's hard to think about a person from my past without thinking about the role I played in their life. Sometimes it was a good one and sometimes a bad one.
The good roles don't trip me up as much as the bad ones do. People I wasn't as kind to as I could have been, failed relationships, etc. Those are the people I wish I could see again and be a better person to them. But I know I may never have that closure. So knowing that, that is where grace comes into play.
If we are truly doing the work in our life that we are supposed to do, then we are always growing and changing. Which means, that the person we used to be no longer exists in the form people once knew. And hopefully the people we once knew are not the same either.
There is an Avett Brothers song called, "The Perfect Space," and it has the lyrics:
I wanna have friends, that I can trust.That love me for the man I've become not the man that I was
Those lyrics speak to me because it's something I want, and I want for others as well. But it's definitely something that is easier said than done. It means that we have to let go of not only our ideas of someone, but in many cases our past experiences with them as well. We have to forgive and try and understand where someone was and where they are now. Again, that is where grace comes into it.
I know I'm not the same person I was 5 and 10 years ago. I also know I am not the same person I was a few months ago. It's my hope that we could all make that statement and it is not only true but it is a positive thing.
About seven years ago, I interviewed the two Coreys about "The Lost Boys" sequel. The interview went well, both were really nice guys. One of the things I observed though was he dynamic between the two of them. Corey Feldman had clearly grown and changed over the years. He had gotten married and moved into a different space in his life working to become the man he wanted to be. Corey Haim (God rest his soul.) was clearly struggling with himself and was trying to engage Feldman as if they were still teenage boys. Although they did not express it on that day, the friction was clearly there. Haim was holding onto the idea of the Feldman he once knew and Feldman was being the man he'd become.
Are we doing that to people in our own life? Are we moving forward but continually trying to make someone play a role they not longer fit?
If we find that to be the case we are causing them harm. We need to try and have fresh eyes and see who they are today and in turn hopefully they will see us as the person we have become. If you are on the other end of that, then it's time to move away from that person until they can see you for who you are now.
I pray the people from my past are all doing well. I hope that they are prosperous and are becoming the men and women they want to be. And for all of you, I hope to see you all with fresh eyes I look forward to the growth and change that is in store.
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