Returning Dignity Project

When I go out to restaurants with new friends for the first time, something they seem to consistently remark on is that I ask for and try to remember our servers names. It's something I have done for a long time.

I live in Orange County, CA and every year we have a county fair at the fairgrounds just a half mile from where I live now. The fair opens at 10 a.m. and goes until midnight, roughly. It is your typical county fair with home crafts, rides and all that delicious fair food you shouldn't really eat, but you do.

A few years back I was there and it was around 5p.m. I wanted an Icee, (because I was at the fair and still have a small seven year old living inside me that drives my cravings sometimes.) I went to the booth that was selling them, ordered it and thanked the young worker by name. His name was Justin.

"Excuse me?" he asked.
"Justin, that's you're name right?"
"Yes." He sounded a little surprised and dazed. "It's just you're the first person to call me by my name all day."

IT WAS 5 P.M. FOLKS!!! The fair had opened at 10 a.m. that day.

That means not one one person he helped all day called him by his name. It also means that not one of his co-workers or his boss called him by his name either. Not one.

I could not imagine a day like that.

That settled my resolve to get people's name on a much more consistent basis.

As humans, whether we like it or not, we are more validated when people use our name. It is a huge difference to us if someone just say, "Hello" or says, "Hello Darcy."

I truly believe that so many people go through their days without genuine or dignified interactions. I think many times we think I don't have to be as cordial or as sweet because they are just a cashier or they are just a gas station attendant.

We are creatures of habit and routine. So that means we are going to the same places more than new places. I bet the place you get your coffee in in the morning sees you more than your friends do sometimes. How many names do you know of the people that work there? They ask you about your day, do you ask about theirs?

I am starting the Returning Dignity Project. The best part about it is that we can all do it and it doesn't cost us anything but a small amount of time.

Everyday I want you to work on addressing just one person you interact with by name. This is a person who you wouldn't normally know their name. For example, if the gal at the drug store has a name tag on at the check out, thank her as you leave and use her name. If she doesn't have a name tag, ask for her name and then thank her by name.

It is that simple. Once you get into the habit of that, I'll add some more to it. This project has layers.

I truly believe that this simple act can change someones day and possibly their life. It not only validates them as a person, but it reminds them that they have presence.

So in comments, on Facebook or Twitter, tell me about how you are doing it! Let's spread this idea and spread dignity for people.